Testimony for Jen Kubach
As a child and teenager, I was shy—almost cripplingly so, feeling unable to function in groups of more than three or four people. When the time came for me to leave for college, I was terrified. Even though I would be living only thirty miles from home, I felt physically ill and had to pull over twice when I was driving to Wright State University for the first time in the fall of 1997 to begin life in a dormitory. How would someone like me ever survive four years of college?
For the first few weeks, I was miserable. I cried frequently, and I rushed back home after my Friday classes. I remained in my own little cocoon, and I often felt like an outcast. I didn’t think dorm life was for me—I didn’t drink; I didn’t party; I didn’t do any of the things I thought “normal” college kids did. I had accepted Christ as my Savior as a young child on the back pew of my church, and I knew that the stereotypical college lifestyle was incongruous with my Christianity. I felt like there were no other people like me on this extremely secular campus.
I tried to get involved with a Christian group to find other believers with whom I could fellowship, but the first meeting I went to had over 100 students crammed into a small meeting room. I looked around and panicked—too many people! But as I looked closer, I recognized some of the people, and I was shocked. A Bible study was the last place I had expected to see them. As the meeting progressed, the group emphasized fun activities…but not Jesus. I went home, bitterly disappointed and still feeling alone.
One of the routines from home that I clung to was reading Our Daily Bread each morning over breakfast. That small booklet felt like my life raft. One day, when the university had a Club Fair, I noticed a small table that displayed Our Daily Bread as free literature. This common ground made me feel confident in the message that this group would teach, and I attended my first Campus Bible Fellowship meeting the next week.
The group was much smaller than the 100+ meeting I had attended earlier, but the people who were there were truly dedicated to Jesus Christ. Kay Lamb and Gary Holtz put me at ease right away, and I felt instantly at home. I became a regular at CBF meetings. As I grew in Christ through the Bible study, I also began to grow in my self-confidence.
One of the things that impressed me most about CBF was their dedication to the international students at the university. I was pleased that they took the opportunity at the college to reach out to both native and international students—what a wonderful ministry opportunity for people who had never had the chance to study the Bible!
I eventually got married, graduated, moved into an apartment near Kay Lamb, took a year off of college to work, and enrolled in graduate school. All this time, I was still attending CBF meetings. I got my masters in TESOL—Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. Part of my motivation was the outreach that I saw through CBF—I saw teaching English to internationals as a gateway to sharing the word of God with them.
The past eight years have been full of joy, but also full of sorrow—my mom was diagnosed with cancer twice (and, by the grace of God, made a full recovery both times), a young cousin died unexpectedly, I became an unemployed newlywed, and I was diagnosed with panic disorder that made it nearly impossible for me to function in daily life. Through all this, Kay Lamb and Gary and Betty Holtz prayed with me and for me, waited patiently through my tears, and helped me see how all of these things could be part of God’s will and plan for my life. There were points where I felt so physically and mentally sick that I couldn’t do anything but cry—I couldn’t even pray. In those times, Kay would sit with me, in person or on the phone, and do the praying for me. It was in these times, when all of my self-sufficiency was stripped away, that I truly learned what it was to fully trust in God to shape my future. Without the love, support, and wisdom of Kay, Gary, and Betty, I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it through the tough times—their unwavering faith in God helped me to develop the same kind of faith.
Now I am a part-time instructor at the same university where this long adventure began. I still attend CBF meetings and activities when I can, and I have had opportunities to witness to my international students through CBF. I have earned two degrees at the university, but I know that my most valuable lessons were learned through the ministry of Campus Bible Fellowship.
Jen Kubach